Exposure Bucks Suck! Don’t Work for Free

So, I’ve seen an uptick of the so-called Exposure Buck phenomenon lately — you don’t know what those are? If you’re an artist or do any kind of creative work, you’ve heard the phrase — we can’t pay you but it will be great exposure . Hence the bullshit currency known as exposure bucks.

Basically, entrepreneurs, freelancers and others who make their living proffering talents that have taken lifetimes to develop are asked to work for free.

Exposure is crap.

Of course, no one ever ASKS you to “work for free,” it’s camouflaged in the chummy badinage of terms like “spec,” “trade” and “barter.” Fuck, barter.

Though all three of these concepts have their place in our recovering economy, the bank tends to frown upon massage gift certificates when you’re paying your rent.

After witnessing a friend routinely exploited by his own generosity, I was inspired to write my own credo as an act of clarification for would-be clients.

Cuz you gots to have the Money Conversation, people.

As I’ve gleaned from others who work independently, the money conversation is hard — harder than discussing the birds and bees with your kid. In fact, some creatives would rather go over the birds and bees with a client rather than money since I they’re getting screwed anyway.

This doesn’t happen to me. Not anymore. Here’s why — I wrote a brief screed, some rules, which I’ll post on CultureDept.com so that whomever needs them can use them — You can retrofit and use it for your personal business needs so long as you let others do the same with your improvements. Here goes..

Dear Prospective Client:

I do not work for free.

(But Wait, There’s More…)

I also don’t work on spec seeing as I have enough of my own speculative contributions to our culture in the works. If you have stock options to offer in a real company with secured funding and a future so bright that you gotta wear shades, we can talk. Otherwise, some arbitrary “percentage” of your personal pipedream, even at 50 percent, is either a pipe or a dream. I don’t smoke and the stuff my dreams are made of is clearly different than yours. Here’s my favorite quote from the Maltese Falcon.

Okay, The Bartering Question

On rare occasions, clients have bartered their wares and services for the license to an existing work. This can be negotiated on a per case basis (and when I say case, I don’t mean a bottle — I mean a case).

To that end, a beer, coffee or even lunch does not constitute payment for my time, which I must manage assiduously to stay afloat. If you want an actual consultation on your project (wherein, I’m not merely flattering you for picking up the tab) let’s do business. Otherwise, we’re just dating.

But the elephant in the room is this Exposure notion — it’s indecent — indecent exposure…

Under penalty of public humiliation, never ever ask me for a creative contribution based on the prospect of “great exposure.”

The fact that you believe this to be attractive to a working professional means I’m overexposed as is. And apparently to the wrong people — the kind of people who lack respect for the fact that I’ve got to buy food for my young son to wear.

Then there’s the Donor Groaner

If you represent a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that boasts an ethos in alignment with my admittedly recherche values, you may send a written proposal. Please don’t send a questionnaire regarding my recherche values.

If you cannot assess what they are from my work, then likely aren’t sufficiently familiar with my work and don’t want me at your event, OR in your anthology, OR speaking at your commencement anyway.

If, by some strange alignment of the stars we share a mutual ethos and the same gaping hole in our schedules — wonderful — I’ll see you at the prison ribbon cutting.

Finally there’s the Read Me vs. Feed Me situation

I will NOT read your script, epic poetry cycle, inspiring personal saga of overcoming graphophobia, etc. However, I will consult with you at my regular fee, which you can obtain by emailing [insert your email here]

When I’m not reading for pleasure, it’s work. And you can hire me. But remember: I do not work for free.

Sincerely,
Your Name Here

…Does this work? Hell yeah. When you respect yourself and your work, you invite others to do the same. Your work has value — but perceived value begins with a number. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you’re worth — in fact, triple it, because you’re probably not considering all the training, education and practice and hard won victories you’ve endured wrestling your talent into the career you’re building.